Friday, December 31, 2010

Late Period New Medication

This year ... Training Days

unless I threw in my entire life together and at times I have wanted and sometimes not (I have never let you win). I spent 7 months in therapy (as in the book of Pollarolo "2 times per week). I found that not even knew pain hurt and fears that do not even know you had.
The karma has been strong and I returned the worst things I've done (just now what I have come to realize me being the worst).
At work and on the bench I have not done anything wrong (how ironic life was all that was not clear last year).
I completely changed my certainties, my faith, my all my love and devotion are no longer holy in the relationship that I have for three years with a guy (actually just a kid, not a man who sometimes dresses in sport, but almost always like working in an office) , and now I do not know where it will stop. However, my certainty is not there and my faith and trust in him, for the simple and plain reason that I do not know if I put my trust, faith and reason in someone. Now my certainties are different: I love my family (but sometimes can not bear to spend too much time with them), that I love my friends and I know they're not going to leave and always will be when needed, I can always get better things life, whatever happens I'll be fine and I'll never stop writing (even on this blog once a month).
At 12 pm I'll try not much in the cabals believer out (although in all past years have given me the reason), take money in the pockets and a red truz (say for love.) And although my pole has yellow jackets will not matter if I like or not the grapes. I wish you all the same I want for me, as I'm looking for: peace, tranquility, good love from all sides, a job you love that you never feel that it is torture, success at the professional level, close circles, take important decisions that allow them to move forward and ensuring that the their secret desires, those who do not write, those who did not even tell you the will aloud.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Who Does The Best Waxing In Ottawa




not have to do with sex. Never mind the sex. That not the main thing ... The important thing is ... waking up with someone ... Share the spoon ... that's the important thing spoon ... Knowing that if he becomes a bad guy, somebody ... That's a metaphor, bad guys never get ... Waking up with the wind, a warm belly, the person you love breathing on your shoulder ... That is ... the spoon.

Imaginaires Les Amours (2010)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Best Business Casual To Wear Busty

Red Rose

Lizard, thanks for that red rose, I loved the detail.
.
.
.
Red Rose
(Ita.Mex)

give me a rose unattainable red
close my eyes to perceive the smell
Imagining that is your soul that fills me
caressing mine, much needed

you give me a deep red rose
your kiss And I imagine each of
petals close my eyes to feel them land on my lips and whispered softly
your name, which always accompanies me Rosa

red as I provoke intense love
which is rooted firmly at the side of my heart
that fit in the spines of your absence, while
clinging to life late in the hope of getting back to you .

A strong stem holds the beautiful pink, red
as the strong love that grew
day clings to live in the depths of my soul, who loves you madly
in the hope of love and return to be matched .
.
.
.
! love you!
.
.
...

Monday, December 13, 2010

Dry Cough In 6 Month Old



December will end and he will go one of the strangest year of my life. I could not say it was bad but could not tell which was the best. This year I met
happiness, total happiness, that makes you think that you have everything in life. I touched and I had even a moment that gives me the certainty of knowing that there is, but I also brought to mind an old certainty: that happiness is not for me.
This has been a year of training, as my psychologist, by preparation to start seeing the glass half full rather than half empty. And it has not been easy, has been very hard. Work, pendejerete boyfriend, family and change, I have never liked the changes. It was difficult to get used to so many things ...
has also been a year of new knowledge, testing. Before I had the certainty that one does not die of love, now I have also assured that I can be alone (and oh, paradox, I'll never be alone). If last year was a year to rediscover my family, this has been a year to find my second family: my friends, and realize that they're more than enough for me to be happy, they make all my days are a bit of my birthday, a little Christmas, a little on the day of the woman, a little wonder.
The other day I talked to my mom about this year and she paused a moment as one assessment without knowing that if this had been a good year for me. Looked at me and said this had not been a good year, and I replied that I would rather see it as "a year of personal growth." 24 months ago, I repeat my challenge is to grow and I think this year-even if it did not intend to, "I had to grow a little force.
I had to give up many things, to ideas, dogmas, frames. I had to prove myself. I separated with pain but without feeling that life was going, rearranging my room and even a natural beauty and irony. I have friends with reluctance, in anger, pain and now with a very calm quiet that at times I get bored. I felt so stupid, so senseless, so stupid. I wanted to run, hide, go into the world, become a dictator, playing at being poor, making up silly theories. In the end I finished where I should have been a long time ago looking for help, and many things have come out of that trunk with key, things that do not even know existed, things that do not even know if they were wrong.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Foto Raylene Richards



today I have wanted to be spoiled, loud, disrespectful, do not take care of all shapes and Pachot say that I have swirling in your head.
today I have wanted to express my despair, my discomfort, my bad back and wave my back vibe. I have wanted
cares nothing, having no filters, to express loudly.
to do all this without considering the consequences, without thinking of tomorrow, without thinking about others.
today I have wanted to send to hell several things, not having very decent output but very rude, loud, tremendous, howling.
today I have wanted to say many things and that only arise and go alone and only ride of my mouth to singulary BECAUSE I am exhausted, tired, fastidiana, angry, bewildered, disappointed, chilli, minced by a hand invisible, large, dazed, sleepy.
today I have no desire to skip anything, anything at all, and no repentance pq no tomorrow, only a moment to download everything, everything off, to vote all to insult them all to fuck that fuck, to shout to those who shout to flip the face to the flip. but I have no desire to fight or argue or contradict, or explain reasons. I just want to be a little animal and acting on impulse. today I have wanted to scream ... and sleeping.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Dongle Sentinel Backup

What is love The Cat Piano


Don: Do not get married because they fell in love. I think that I wrote some time to sell nylons.
Rachel: for many, love is not just a slogan.

Don: Refers to love. The beam passing through the heart and does not allow eating or working and forces her to run to get married ... and having babies ... I do not feel does not exist. What you call love was invented by someone like me to sell nylons.

Rachel: Really?
Don: I'm sure ... was born alone and die alone and the world will impose a few rules to forget that ... but I forgot ... I live like there's no tomorrow. .. because there are none.

Text: Mad Men.
Photo: Pride and Prejudice.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Brownie Cookie Patches

My dream carrot

"I have a boyfriend who works in a bank, which has a nice second car and pick me up knocking on my door twice. Have office hours and leave at 6 o'clock every day. What happens with me weekends and Monday through Friday to examine its MBA or Masters in Banking and Finance. Have a life insurance and a job in return. That has a promising future to ensure that some time will become the bank manager. That wear striped suits and brightly colored corbartas. That I adore both him and me that we marry in a simple ceremony. Do not want to write. That pinchaguita play with friends. That is offered to light the grill at home. than when they take the car to pay the cab of my friends. My boy who works at the bank will get the clothes I gave him and send me flowers when we fight. When you graduated from your MBA agradecrá and tell me he loves me. Never take work home. "That is my dream carrot today, as I related to Martin.

© " Woman dreaming the world "in Ana Durán

Prevent People Seeing Friends On Facebook

I'm playing

for dusting a bit of my blog (I had not written anything in it so far this year), I will mention what I'm playing:

Scott Pilgrim vs The World (Xbox 360) :
game that reminds you of some way to River City Ransom, and at some stage in the arcade game ninja turtle. You can play with Scott, or any member of the " Sex Bob-omb ", although there is an upgrade at a cost with which you can also play with Knives Chau. with graphics that remind me of the time most of the 16 bits, is a very interesting game and nothing difficult. It also has elements reminiscent of Super Mario 3 as the map where you start your adventure. If you liked the movie is undoubtedly a great buy. If you have not seen yet, just buy it if you liked the retro games like Sonic Megaman 9 or 4 ...




NBA Jam (Wii):
I always wanted to be in my video library a game of NBA Jam, and finally I did, though with mixed feelings. This game is the essence of the legendary game arcades, though to be a game on disc one would think that would have more choices, more material or at least as a gift the old game of "arcade" but it is not. It should be noted that the career choice you can find mythical teams as the Utah Jazz with John Stockton and Karl Malone as well as others. My complaint is that EA Sports might have gotten this game on digital download Wiiware but no. Another disappointment was that I take what I had originally purchased as EA announced that Xbox 360 and PS3 for this game only went out on download, and that the only system that would have in physical form would be the Wii ... for that reason I had to buy the Wii, because it wanted to have in your box and the whole thing, I had to stump up 800 pesos for the people **** EA finally announced that if he went out in physical form on xbox360 and PS3 ... shit go ...



R-Type (iPod Touch):

Classic IREM the Japanese company, which along with Gradius are the two pillars of the genre Shmup (navecitas, shooter, etc). All I can say is which is a great game, adapts well to the screen of the iPod Touch. Is identical to the arcade version has many options that you can never get tired of it, and only cost me 10 pesos. That if we have to look well into the app store because there you have it half-hidden, it is possible that a classic like this I have so forgotten, but then leave it there as a great recommendation if you have ipod touch or iphone and do not know to download.


Thursday, November 11, 2010

Hughes Aircraft Retirement Contact

the chest of memories Song 02/06/1910

why I'm upset now? Because you have spoken to me. not bad things. not good things. Just have spoken and have not said what I wanted, what I expected, I would have liked to hear in deferred. No You said nothing interesting and I'm upset about that.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

How To Build A Film Set

Love Letter

you draw your self with every word expersada or repressed ... for you, Lizard .



Morning, Heaven, I hope you dawned good or at least feel better today.

hear your voice filling my ears, but your voice is not only perceived ... is delighted, is absorbed by all my senses ..

feel your voice and when he comes through this (pc) walk through all areas of my being, not just the tangible, also touches my soul, my spirit comforts.

I love your voice, because that's how we're together, I hear you and you to me, and as if by magic, the best of me, comes and says ... for you.

Your voice gives me life, I am excited, I am encouraged, but also wins me over, seduced me and makes me the most passionate being on earth. Your voice

me challenges, keeps alive my mind, provokes, stimulates .... inspires, fascinates.

And through it I am with you, your fears, your feelings, your anxiety .. but most of all, with the good man, noble and seductive.

hear your voice and I feel that because a woman gives birth to not be re-thought.



I love you with all my heart ... Ita.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Watch Free Digital Playground



I have spent over half an hour reading declarations of love between two friends in Facebook. I've never been light in the words of love. I could never say "forever", "lifetime" or "this is the name that would put our children." But I would have liked. I would have liked to have said when I least expected. Have told you, I loved you with all my heart, I wanted to have a house with you and cook up delicious things and wanted to die with you, but staying with you meant to starve. Had wanted to say these words I never told you. You would have liked to say to you, as they are crying to my friends, as used as a banner with my family, as I wrote in my blog, in my diary, the letters I've saved. All those words of love that never told you ... Had wanted to eat my pride, full of courage and say many of these things, but now nearly 10 years later (not ten, but ten sounds a perfect number, sounds like song) all that is gone and all those forever and dreams of home have not passed the "good and noble intentions." But it is in this sense that I remember things now, not with that thought makes me believe malicious that of all the couples I know who swear eternal love daily on Facebook May 3 end with a broken heart, a state of "single" and a few insults and blocked accounts. (Yes, every time I'm closer to becoming the world's most romantic skeptical, but skeptical at the end). But it is in this sense that I remember my own silent message of love and words of love that I have said. Is that now, 10 years later, where does all these words have gone, where will you are now that they are nothing? I had to say to you all. I had to look into your eyes and say: "I HAVE GONE TO BUILD A FACTORY OF ICE IN THE NORTH POLE IS WHAT YOU ME Had asked. "You were my arm, my leg, one of my eyes." You were my family. "" I had chosen the name of our children. "Or just being able to say" I love you "in a good way not using it as a weapon or as a plea or an exchange of words, tell the front, so that now 10 years later, those words fuerom have had a place to rest, to stay, where he died, which stop at the time. Seen in this way no longer seems ridiculous declarations of love "5 minutes". It is my envy (of the good, sound) that made me call them and put them all in one bag. my envy and my inability to speak lightly. Would be 16 years again and again reinvent. So I would say everything I said no, even to have it blow away.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Buy An Rc Helicopter In Mumbai



Someone once I sang this song and I recorded it on a disk that i still keep with affection and nostalgia. In another version (in honor of the truth) but this is what I like and always reminds me of him and him alone. I have this song recorded in the mind since I heard in the trailer for a movie that I can not remember what it is.
Someone once sang this song and I miss him. Now that is my life (if he ever felt part), now that is not waiting, the prophecy has been fulfilled: he has forgotten me and I, I never had to want eggs, I will not forget. And it may well be better. Maybe I did not even have to say goodbye but only myself to think of it, to think of you, last time and just remember that you are my beautiful story.
I miss you, sometimes I miss, I miss what that meant to me, I never have, which I did not have, so it's good that you're away, and the child of the wings of wax could not approach the sun, for me it will always be infinitely better than not being here, for you will be infinitely better, especially.
I love you boy, you're very happy ... but not me.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Pregnant With Black Poo

We always

Mary
me study a class in college, was a simple and quiet girl, who did not participate in classes and shrank from the teacher's questions. He greeted everyone with a crooked smile. Hung out with the girls underwent more extensive the room. It was very beautiful, but it was good. Goodness it showed in the face, voice, the smile. It was a really nice girl. I did not know a lot and talked very little but still I knew that Mary was good and slow.

dressed as a teacher old bone with a blouse too broad and quite soiled, and sometimes a little sweaty. Wore a black skirt or trousers with shoes that never combined. I do not know if it was bright or not. I do not remember. Just know that I, who was bright and pretty and popular, I ended up passing the course with a 11, then a replacement made me a cold sweat, and Mary was not on the test. I do not remember whether he graduated with me at my base in my ceremony, but I never pulled any course.

Mary had a boyfriend in college: Jacinto. That it was not pretty (but the highest class), which was not popular but intelligent. He was very quiet but the few times he opened his mouth desulmbrar was for people with good management theory and talk about how much he liked Mary. To Mary, told Jacinto Fe (which was his middle name) and some in your group of friends also called Faith had not thought of Mary in a long time but inevitably (not that I have wanted to avoid) I had hit two of them three times after completing college. Mary inviting coffee, Mary talking about follow your dreams, Mary admired feeling happy because I was doing what I always wanted.

few months ago I bumped into Mary in the work of my best friend, was doing support work, slow, quiet, putting punche, secretly hoping that after the contract, but without saying a word. Talk to my friend, the best reference di Maria and the hired quickly. Had not even noticed the good work of the volunteer. I saw two months depues had made his first sale (modest, but it was his first sale) and we all congratulated, had prepared a toast, her boyfriend (no Jacinto, but the current) had sent a huge floral arrangement that said "With love for Faith" and had come to the conclusion bringing you a (dated) stuffed with a posterior movie kiss. All hugged Mary, they took pictures with her and were so happy.

Mary with its common name, with its "look pronvicia Square, with its walk lentito and indistinguishable from the crowd, so happy there. And I, with a better job, with the hurricane is over, with the most handsome groom, but without the flowers, the toast of colleagues, the joy, simplicity, tranquility.

love Mary so, which is so different from me. I could never be like her. But now, the other day I saw her, I wanted to be Mary, call me Mary, have their minimum wage job, her boyfriend ugly flowers that I send him and came to her and kiss her proudly in front of your entire office. Wanted-no matter-have a destination be as simple as school teacher, having a teacher husband, two minimum wages, a small room, two babies crying (later discussed in modest parochial schools). We would have liked not to have a Portuguese surname, a green wine drinking family, never have gone to Lisbon. Would have liked, I would at times be Mary, the "provincial square appearance, with volunteer work just to start the race. I had wanted to call Mary and have a toast at work for a sale S/.230.00 and that's all the happiness in the world. And I do not care if tomorrow, if passed, if later. If you stay or go, you get lost or deceive me. If I let you or I look for one or two lovers. If I move or stay at home. If I can not do the thesis. If you gain weight one or two kilos. We

Mary so, all we want to Mary, both because we do not really look anything like me, and I think in many, many things have better luck than me, and obviously is good.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Fresh Yeast To Buy In Louisiana

I do not see. Feel the lake


-Jaime: you paint what you see.
-Jose: Idale ... it's how you see it.
-Marcos, is not it? ... Maybe it is not paint what I see ... is a state of mind ... I do not know, but you do not realize in the end they are all self-portraits. Cardboard Castles

.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Is Og Mudbone Dead How Big Is The Biggest?




The poems can only be understood through the senses ... When one dives into a lake ... not to swim ashore at once, but to get wet. It's to enjoy the feel of the water ... No need to understand the lake.

Bright Star

Monday, September 6, 2010

Methodology Of Makabuhay

Mary so that life is once again ... New habits

  • I am in a complicated relationship. I
  • eggs go missing.
  • I dare to take to my bed.
  • Wrinkle and I run.
  • I have wanted to escape.
  • crops out my playful spirit.
  • remember everything I felt for you (and everything I should have felt.)
  • I have the feeling that you always behave like an idiot.
  • I keep thinking it would be if ...
  • if we imagine that day or that night or that afternoon in the park ...
always that life is back I have the feeling that you are now a little different (and rightly so) could not be otherwise. But when I see you I realize that for a while still being myself blue boy. And I even after several presidential elections I'm still the same and being in the same point in my life. Had every reason to walk away from me. You feel I am a bit toxic, bad, twisted and player (no asshole poker player but, for that trick without cheating). You did well to get away from me.

After all, if you could see me laugh a little about me. You're cute and you're fine. And I'm still here, just like 10 years ago and part of me knows he deserves it.

Friday, September 3, 2010

How. Dow.you. Bet. Poptropica



I'm trying to lose a little in the habit of abuse. I away a bit of melodrama, of stress. I want to be quiet. To remember that I'm avoiding what hurts me. Wiping. As Miguel says, you are able to choose what you think and take its time. I no longer want to think or take my time on things that mistreat me, that hurt me. I take my time and energy to smile, to live in a good time. I do not know if I can, but I need to take challenges and begin to follow the advice I get each week. I have to take care of myself. I miss, miss me a lot. It was beautiful to be as it was, that's what I want for myself.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Do Men Like Breastfeeding

And were not you ...

The music was beautiful. I had come with anguish, heartache and fear in the stomach. Reached sad departure. A few minutes later you came, handsome and cool as a cucumber. I had so much heartache. You complained of my face. I wanted to talk about everything: everything that I can never tell you, everything I feel and it should not. You wanted to hang out with me, loved me, you said you were happy and the only problem was my face (long).
The music was beautiful, I imagined that he would mourn (and cried). You looked at me, did not understand anything. You were by my side and I cried as if I had lost forever. And you're desperate. And I cried. And the music was beautiful, beautiful. And I was so lonely there with me, and you by my side, and you were not (as in the song) but squeezed my hand and you gave a peck on the cheek. And the music I opened holes in the heart. And there I was alone with myself and all this shit I do not know how to overcome.

Monday, August 23, 2010

How To Build A Rabbit Feeder

My mother told me ...

.. you'll never be alone, I'll always support you in every decision you make. Do not be silly, everybody is wrong, it's wise to forgive and when you forgive you must do to forget, always forget. I
I cried, I cried buckets, I cried seas, I came all the way from micro to a suburban area in tears, crying a lot, with pain.
My mother consoled me. Do not touch me. Not look at me with pity or mourn inquisitors. His eyes did not see me in pain. I challenged. I pulled the tongue to keep talking. I shouted, "I told you so" or "never trust men." I said what I had almost sworn that I would say, "Do not be silly." Just looked at me. Heard. Spoke. And I thanked him and not look at me with pity nor comfort, only with wisdom. My mother
repeated several times: "I'll always support you" and "as you all will want as before. "
Some things happen, he said. Some people are like that. For some people it's normal. I was crying feeling a fool. I took eggs and asked," you'd look bad if I return. "And my mother I took the picture when he said: "I do not I can get into that, it's just your decision, but I will support you in whatever you decide."
Then very quietly, naturalness and grace, and when I had left to mourn My mother concluded: "all men are miserable." I did not dare ask if my dad too.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Broken Tooth With Lump In Gum

of absence and I have to forget you

Today I saw a guy who reminded me of you, I saw him in an activity of my work, I maybe it could be you. This would be a happy coincidence. But not you. Of you and not get smoke signals. Neither of the universe. I started thinking about it always, somehow, chaotic moments of my life, I can come back to you. I think it would be wrong to say that you come back to me. In my head, my thoughts, my memories, my "if only". But then I think I have to leave behind this absurd craze remember you, and allow many things around me I come back to me.
So I conclude that I look because you're the only guy who has treated me well, I mean not all have treated me badly, but I understand: you're the only has treated me well. You're the only guy who is a bit myself (though I now be a horrible person and you've evolved as a super pokemon). I no longer think of me. I know you're not interested, why should it? They have spent so many years, so much has happened to me and you. But I'm like ... I am a fool, and I can with my romantic stories. I just know that if I saw you now I could not stop to kiss (as before), or a hug (the good) and I would ask you to stay (a while even if it is), invite you to take a hot chocolate , a cake "grandma", and play (without playing for real) to us before we are the same.
I know I should not say or write this. I know I should resign myself to only think of you is a mental exercise, but I'm a damn selfish and I can not. Also, if you read me, if I ever read I think just to know that occasionally there is a girl who thinks of you.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Congratulation Pregnancy Sayings

viz.


Predictable not always mean boring.
Lust does not always mean love. Close
not always mean close.
New does not always mean exciting. Unlike
not always mean better. Far
not always mean distance.
Know everything does not make you wiser.
Knowing the truth does not make you superior.
Know your problem is not resolved.
Sit between your past and your future does not mean being present.


Dakota Skye

Watch Los Hombres De Paco From The Start

"Tell me"

Another cute lizard for the planet.




Tell me
Ita Mex


What a beautiful feeling to hear you say poems
closing my eyes to feel that your voice that caresses you
that my skin stand on end .. ......... shiver my soul that wants to wrap it
... .. voluntarily
entangle you do not need to pretend, I'm there, I want to be. Tell me more ...

. do not let my eyes open in light
not even want to blink
not miss the feeling to rise in your tone, almost touching the sky of distant
feelings that come as well, accompanied by your voice.


And now comes the silence ... ... can not hear you, I miss you
open my eyes and I am in fact your distance
latent and despair, love, feel close to the warmth of your voice then I
comfort closing my eyes to imagine.
.
.
.
.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Feeling Of Bruised Brain

"Your silence"

For you, Lizard!
.
.
.
.
Your silence
Ita
Mex .
.
.
I've learned to interpret the meaning of your silence

the way I like to draw, maybe I dream about

explaining them, only shut up and keep them well, forever,

do not make your words differ from them, I like that.


I learned to understand your times without a voice, you calm

when you immerse yourself in your thoughts, and you just go
.
to different worlds to which we share, and you are absent

spaces that I can not reach me, without me

induce
not matter because you recreate my mind, you stay with me, smile

per share, blushing, you play stupid

and even when I hear, beyond what I say, happy!

know that without that moment of virtuality, not exist.
.
.
.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Cosmos Designstar 4.5



I have to forget you and you and everything. I have to stop thinking that will appear sometime soon. I will not let me disturb. Your presence makes me ill. I will not give you a place in my life. As I myself have written, if you do not think do not exist. And then: DO NOT EXIST. NOT EXIST IN MY LIFE. There would only be if I gave you cabidfa and I will not give it to you.
I will act in good faith. I am acting in good faith. Without lunacy but in good faith. If things go as expected. If you eventually find that they hurt me and break my heart again, then I'll be a dumb, but have acted in good faith and will only be one more trip on my way to happiness. Where you or you have no place.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Thick Mucus2 Days Before Periods

If you read this

This time I do not want to re-enter your life and then leave. Since 20 years I have not shot the stone and hide the hand. This time I will not want to play without trying (actually I was never playing with you, was chibola, was stupid and I was wrong in the brain. Well, that has not changed much, but now I think me more.)
If you read me, if I have ever read, give me a smoke signal, join me in a cyber place and give me your mailing address. (I dare not ask you, has been too long, and may sound that I want to do not know what the hell ...). In fact all I want is to give your poem, which I always spoke, that I showed you just once, you did not believe that there was, and I published in a magazine this summer. I want to give, I want you to have it finally is more yours than mine. I might not understand, you may not see reflected in the poem, you might not know that I speak Xuxa, but it is for you and I wrote it from the donf of my heart and my brain twisted. I know that maybe is silly they ask, be ridiculous to do so, a bastard ... I remember you now (I have never forgotten you, I never stopped thinking of you ... ever), but I do not want to help (my shrink says that one should not say I can not when the word is actually I do not want, well I do not want help). I do not want to avoid thinking about you a little, want to send the poem and you want to say nice memory.
I sincerely hope you do better than me, you deserve it completely. You always have deserved it more than me. I know that a chance of life may no longer read me, maybe I do not remember, but if you do, could you give me a smoke signal, I'll give you return your poem, just that promise?

Friday, July 9, 2010

Sauna In Mens Locker Room

I am stone - 2

Lokesvara Bodhisattva, Cambodian art,
Paris XII century, Guimet Museum

Monday, July 5, 2010

Egzorcysta W Warszawie

Perhaps you too have ever been my breeze



Apparently life is constructed so that no one can fill it ... just ... A flower is not enough to have pistils and stamens ... and an insect or the wind must enter the pistil in the yarn ... Life is the same, containing its own void that only one can fill. Apparently the world is the sum of those single and yet we do not know tell us that we complement each other. We live in a scattered ... ignore each other ... Sometimes, we would find objectionable the presence of the other ... Why the world is constructed in a way so ... messy? ... A horsefly bathed in light is about to fly a small flower ... I've been, unknowingly, the gadfly of someone ... Maybe you too have ever been my breeze. Air

Doll

Monday, June 28, 2010

Kates Playground The Chair

SMOKE SIGNALS DAME Heart


My ex is engaged, getting married soon. This week I have seen friends, acquaintances and obhservadores have changed his Facebook status. (Damn Facebook!). I knew that one of these would find in the Face of my ex a state change in their relationship. It's stupid not to see him do years, although part of me always thought I could have married him. It's so silly. I know that if he read this one might think, "poor girl, is crazy. "I'm just a silent stalker. is a strange feeling when an ex gets married or matches. It makes me think I'm going to have to drink lots of sips of colors and mourn a little, not because I care or hurt me but because I'm far far away to stand in white in a church.

guess he finally be able to be with a girl that does not confuse left with right and you can have tea with her mother. (Oh! living God obsessed with mothers and tea).

All are married, get together, and here I separated, I fight, but I befriended me separately and without the slightest fucking idea what will happen in my life. I I'm here without being able to move forward or back. Stupid stuck in this bubble I've created.

I guess all this has to do with my insane jealousy, with Lula and her new baby, with Fer and more than a month of living and their upcoming wedding, me and my dreams thrown into the garbage. With all the "poor" people should do that for me in the last 3 months.

Everyone has become a man before me. Again I'm a fucking heart under construction. My life had to be like that guy and I had to be you celebrating a commitment now. My life had to be so calm and happy, with the track. The university, the thesis, expertise, hard work, the account savings, car, apartment, the boyfriend of a lifetime, the requested hand, the ring, the wedding. No, not because the aircraft have boyfriends, or one-night, or taken back, and strange sexual practices, or pillows for three, or extreme drunkenness or madness. There have been due slapping, punching, kicking, sent to hell, persecution as Bonny and Clyde, long conversations with your mother. They have not because you have so many tears, nights alone, single sessions, pregnancy testing alone, imaginary children not knowing whom. There had to be a fucking birthday waiting for a phone off, 70 cell phone calls. All those things were for me. Miguel I'd say I chose the road somewhere. I decided each of them. And I would not have enough valid arguments to refuting what he says.
My ex will marry and be happy with a pretty girl, prettier and more normal than me. Less dramatic and haunting me. No couches or sleeping pills or tears or psychosis with phones. Without extra kilos or circles or a blog. Without so much failure.

Maybe it's just my envy of the happiness of others, of a kind not seen for years and not even greet me if I cross the street. Maybe it's just a representation of all the times I could decide change all this by the possibility of being happy. At what moment changed my way. At which point the daughter no longer wanted my parents and the perfect bride would fit well in any family. At which point I decided to go crazy and still do not know here doing stupid with my life.

certainties
All I had on my life and my happiness. All the dreams we had gone through a tube. If I'm still here and if it is because I never had the idea that happiness could never thought I could experience it. Now that I know exists and I can not do more to aspire to what we had, but know that it was all a lie and that I will never to be happy until I decide not afford it. The other is to choose who can help me build this happiness, but for me and for this heart to build the concept and became very weird and twisted. Happiness for me now is just wait and stupid little things, which almost always never get outside of that I have almost no faith and hope. To defy fate, maybe I can win 1% of the lottery in which I've gotten to play.
Pd. I forgot to say that ex is Will.

Sunday, June 27, 2010