Monday, December 13, 2010

Dry Cough In 6 Month Old



December will end and he will go one of the strangest year of my life. I could not say it was bad but could not tell which was the best. This year I met
happiness, total happiness, that makes you think that you have everything in life. I touched and I had even a moment that gives me the certainty of knowing that there is, but I also brought to mind an old certainty: that happiness is not for me.
This has been a year of training, as my psychologist, by preparation to start seeing the glass half full rather than half empty. And it has not been easy, has been very hard. Work, pendejerete boyfriend, family and change, I have never liked the changes. It was difficult to get used to so many things ...
has also been a year of new knowledge, testing. Before I had the certainty that one does not die of love, now I have also assured that I can be alone (and oh, paradox, I'll never be alone). If last year was a year to rediscover my family, this has been a year to find my second family: my friends, and realize that they're more than enough for me to be happy, they make all my days are a bit of my birthday, a little Christmas, a little on the day of the woman, a little wonder.
The other day I talked to my mom about this year and she paused a moment as one assessment without knowing that if this had been a good year for me. Looked at me and said this had not been a good year, and I replied that I would rather see it as "a year of personal growth." 24 months ago, I repeat my challenge is to grow and I think this year-even if it did not intend to, "I had to grow a little force.
I had to give up many things, to ideas, dogmas, frames. I had to prove myself. I separated with pain but without feeling that life was going, rearranging my room and even a natural beauty and irony. I have friends with reluctance, in anger, pain and now with a very calm quiet that at times I get bored. I felt so stupid, so senseless, so stupid. I wanted to run, hide, go into the world, become a dictator, playing at being poor, making up silly theories. In the end I finished where I should have been a long time ago looking for help, and many things have come out of that trunk with key, things that do not even know existed, things that do not even know if they were wrong.

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